When my golden retriever Max passed away after twelve years together, I had a full schedule the next morning. I’m a pet loss grief counselor — I’ve sat with hundreds of people through exactly this kind of pain. And even I sat at my desk that evening, completely unable to prepare.
Grief doesn’t check your calendar before it arrives.
Pet bereavement leave refers to time off work taken after the death of a pet. While not all employers offer formal pet bereavement leave, the concept is becoming more recognized as companies begin to acknowledge the real impact of pet loss on employee wellbeing. If you’re wondering whether you’re allowed to take that time — and what to do with it — this article is for you.
First: Give Yourself Permission to Step Away
Struggling to work after losing a pet isn’t weakness. It’s a normal response to a real loss. Research consistently shows that pet loss grief can be as intense as grief for a human loved one — with the same emotional and physical symptoms: difficulty concentrating, disrupted sleep, pet loss depression, and waves of unexpected sadness. Time off work for pet loss isn’t an indulgence — it’s a recognition that grief after losing a pet is real, and that pet loss at work affects your ability to function.
If you need time, here’s how to get it:
Some companies now offer formal pet bereavement leave — typically one to three days. It’s worth checking your employee handbook or asking HR directly: “Does our leave policy include bereavement for the loss of a pet?” You may be surprised.
If your company doesn’t have a pet bereavement policy, PTO, personal days, and sick leave are all legitimate options. You don’t owe anyone a detailed explanation for how you use your personal time.
When it comes to telling your manager, simple and honest works best. Something like: “I’m dealing with a personal loss and need a day — would that be okay?” Most reasonable people will say yes.
How to Actually Use That Time to Heal
This is the part that matters most. Pet bereavement leave isn’t about waiting for the grief to stop — it won’t, not yet. It’s about giving yourself a container for the grief, so it has somewhere to go.
Here’s what the research — and my years of working with grieving pet owners — suggests actually helps.
Let Your Body Stabilize First
Grief is as physical as it is emotional. Your nervous system is working overtime, and it needs basic support.
Allison Miller, LCSW, puts it this way: “It’s about creating a solid foundation of taking care of ourselves so our body systems can withstand the emotional and cognitive impacts of loss.”
That means: eat something, even if nothing sounds good. Drink water. Try to sleep. Move your body in whatever way feels manageable — a short walk, a warm bath, stepping outside for ten minutes. You’re not trying to feel better yet. You’re just keeping yourself afloat.
Handle Triggers Gently — But Don’t Rush
The food bowl by the door. The leash on the hook. The spot on the couch where they always slept.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Scott Eilers recommends temporarily putting away items that force the loss to the front of your mind: “Anything that forces the loss back to the front of your mind every time you see it — put it away for now.”
But the key word is temporarily. Don’t rush to clear everything out. Many people who pack up their pet’s belongings too quickly find they regret it later. There’s no deadline. When you’re ready — and you’ll know when you’re ready — you can decide what to keep, what to pass on, and what to hold onto.
Give Your Grief a Voice
One of the most effective tools in grief psychology is expressive writing — putting your feelings into words, not to share, but simply to release.
Write a letter to your pet. Say the things you didn’t get to say. Thank them. Tell them what you miss. Tell them what you’re angry about. Research published in peer-reviewed journals on pet bereavement counseling has found that giving language to grief — naming it, articulating it — helps the brain begin to process what has happened.
You can also draw, create a small memorial, or simply sit quietly with a photo and let yourself feel whatever comes up. Ritual matters. It tells your grief: you are real, and I am paying attention.
Don’t Go Through It Alone
A 2024 study in PMC on pet bereavement counseling found that perceived social support significantly affects how people move through pet loss grief. When people feel their grief is unacknowledged — what researchers call disenfranchised grief — they’re more likely to withdraw and struggle longer.
Find one person who won’t minimize what you’re going through. You don’t need to explain or justify the depth of your loss — just find someone who will sit with you in it. If the people around you don’t quite understand, online pet loss communities are full of people who do.
And if your grief feels too big to carry alone for an extended period, pet bereavement counseling and pet bereavement support are real and valid options — not a last resort, but a form of care you deserve. Some people also find comfort in pet bereavement groups or professional pet bereavement services, especially if their grief feels overwhelming or prolonged. Dealing with pet bereavement is hard enough without doing it in isolation. Bereavement for pets deserves the same support as any other loss — because the death of a pet is a real loss, full stop.
Let the Timeline Be What It Is
The hardest part of pet bereavement leave is what comes after it. You go back to work. You’re expected to function. And the grief is still there.
This is normal. Grief doesn’t follow the schedule of your leave policy. For most people, the acute phase of losing a pet — the shock, the waves of sadness, the difficulty concentrating — softens gradually, over weeks and sometimes months. What matters isn’t how fast it moves. It’s that it’s moving at all.
Give yourself one small thing each day. Not “be okay” — just be slightly more okay than yesterday. That’s enough. That’s actually what healing looks like.
Your Bereavement Day: A Simple Guide
When you don’t know where to start, start here. This isn’t a to-do list — it’s a gentle structure for a day that has no rules.
- Let yourself not be productive. That’s the whole point of today.
- Eat something. Drink water. Your body is grieving too.
- Put away one or two things that are too hard to look at right now. You can decide later what to do with them.
- Write down three things you miss most about them. Or write them a letter. Or just say their name out loud.
- Send a message to one person who understood them. You don’t have to explain. Just reach out.
- Go somewhere you used to go together, if you can. Or look at a photo. Let yourself feel it.
- Do one small thing to honor them — however small. Light a candle. Plant something. Put their photo somewhere you’ll see it.
FAQ: Pet Bereavement Leave
Can you take bereavement leave for a pet? It depends on your employer. Pet bereavement leave is not legally required in most countries, but a growing number of companies offer it voluntarily. Check your employee handbook or ask HR directly.
Can you use bereavement for a pet if your company has no formal policy? Yes. PTO, personal days, and sick leave are all appropriate options. Grief after losing a pet is real, and using available leave to cope with it is legitimate.
Does bereavement cover pets in most workplaces? Not yet as a standard policy — but this is changing. More companies are recognizing that pet loss affects employee wellbeing in real ways.
Can you get bereavement for a pet in the UK? There’s no legal requirement in the UK, but some employers offer it under compassionate leave. Checking your handbook or speaking with HR is always the right first step.
Can you take bereavement for a pet without telling your employer why? Yes. In most workplaces, you can use personal days without giving a reason. If you do choose to share, a simple “I’m dealing with a personal loss” is sufficient.
How do I ask my manager for time off after losing a pet? Keep it simple: “I’m dealing with a personal loss and need a day — would that be okay?” Or if you’re comfortable being specific: “My pet passed away and I need some time.” Most managers will respond with understanding. Ask for what you specifically need, and remember you don’t owe anyone a detailed explanation.
Is it normal to need time off work after losing a pet? Completely. Coping with pet loss is genuinely hard, and the grief after losing a pet is real — with documented physical and emotional symptoms. Needing time isn’t weakness. It’s a reasonable response to a real loss.
Pet bereavement leave is not just about time off — it’s about giving grief a place to exist. And grief doesn’t resolve in a day. Losing a pet leaves a space that takes time to adjust to — not fill, just adjust to.
Coping with pet bereavement takes time, patience, and support — whether that comes from people, routines, or simply giving yourself permission to feel what you’re feeling.
But you don’t have to be okay tomorrow. You just have to be a little more okay than you are today. And then again the next day. That’s what healing looks like — not a finish line, but a direction.
You’re already moving in it.
If you took bereavement leave for a pet — or wished you could — share your experience in the comments. Your story might help someone else feel less alone in asking.
You can also visit our Rainbow Bridge Memorial page to honor your pet’s memory.
Jessica Merrow is a pet loss grief counselor and writer who has supported hundreds of pet owners through one of life’s most painful experiences. After losing her golden retriever Max unexpectedly, she dedicated herself to understanding the psychology of pet grief — and helping others feel less alone in it.